Help make those tomorrows better

So many people and so many events can be written about relating to our LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers, but today ends Pride Month, and there are other things happening in our world too. Of course, if doesn't have to be June to talk about LGBTQ+ matters. Do feel free to add some names and stories in the comments section, because there really is a lot more to say.

Sadly, there is still a long way to go before everyone is treated with dignity and respect. There are those who are still trying to pass laws that take away basic human rights. How great if society treated all people equally and with true justice and respect. Sadly, that isn't the case.

I'm thrilled that there were celebrations, and I look for many more, but we also have to face the reality that people are still being bullied, beaten and even killed just for being their true selves. On this last day of Pride Month, do something special for yourself and also for an LGBTQ+ stranger. Help make those tomorrows better.

The man behind the Quilt

If you know about The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, the man you can thank for it is Cleve Jones.  Along with Marcus Conant, Frank Jacobson and Richard Keller, Jones also created the Kaposi's Sarcoma Research and Education Foundation, which later became the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. The tv program you enjoyed a few years ago, showing LGBTQ history (When We Rise), was based on a book by Jones "When We Rise: My Life in the Movement."

Close friends over the years with the late rainbow flag creator Gilbert Baker, Cleve Jones might not be a name you recognize, and his face might not be familiar, but he has been an LGBTQ and HIV activist most of his life.  The stories he has are a powerful picture of how far we have come.  Cleve Jones knew Harvey Milk, and the seeds of activism were probably planted back then.  He has been a giant in the lgbtq community ever since.  In addition, Cleve has been a Community and Political Coordinator with a major hospitality workers’ labor union.

Cleve Jones is not someone I know well - I used to see him at events or walking around the neighborhood back when I lived in San Francisco, but I certainly respect and admire all he has done, and so am pleased to mention him here during Pride Month.

With over 48,000 3’ x 6’ panels, the story of The Quilt, is a fascinating one too. You can learn more about it, and even donate in support, at http://www.aidsquilt.org/  

Remembering Wilson

The name Wilson F. Fang might not be a familiar one to you, but it will always mean a lot to me. Reader's Digest magazine used to have a regular feature where folks wrote about the most unforgettable character in their lives.   I've said this before, and it continues to be true - that person for me is Wilson.  It's been almost ten years since he died, and I still think about him all the time.

I have fond memories of Wilson during LGBTQ+ Pride Months in the past and especially good memories on this date.  Today would have been his 53rd birthday.  

Wilson was active in San Francisco's Castro LGBTQ+ community, Gay Asian Pacific Alliance, and held the title of Mr. GAPA 2005.  He was the kind of person you immediately felt comfortable with.  I've been participating in AIDS Walk San Francisco from the beginning and Wilson would sponsor me every year.  I only knew him for about twenty years, but such wonderful years!  I remember sitting one night talking with him for hours at a now defunct restaurant.  

Wilson also loved to travel, and he generously shared pictures and stories of his adventures.  His warmth and kindness will always be remembered.

Happy birthday in heaven dear Wilson.  I miss you.  Thank you for the times we shared.  I'm sure you are showing your kindness now to the angels.

The Band

Before the parade passes by, I have to make mention of this fabulous annual event and especially say something about the band.  I LOVE the San Francisco Pride Parade.  There is so much color and so much diversity.  One thing I always love about parades in San Francisco is The San Francisco Pride Band, formerly the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, founded by Jon Sims back in 1978, they became the first openly gay musical organization in the world.

Michael J. Wong is the Artistic Director for both the Marching and Pep Bands. Watch him sometime. You can see right away that he is having fun.  He has been leading the band in the Pride Parade for fifteen years now.

By the way, back in 2018, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to officially designate them as "the official band of the City and County of San Francisco." That's pretty impressive.

There's nothing like the sound of a marching band, as far as I'm concerned, and these performers are extra special. Come out to the parade tomorrow or watch the television coverage. I know the moment I see Michael and hear the band, I'll have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. The Parade starts at Market and Beale Streets at 10:30am and ends at Market & 8th Street near the Pride Festival in Civic Center Plaza.

For more on the San Francisco Pride Band, go to https://sfprideband.org/

Tour of Ken Jones

Black, a veteran (US Navy), openly gay, community activist, and a survivor of HIV - even in San Francisco, it must have been pretty tough going, but Ken Jones kept smiling and kept making a difference.  Even before there was a gay rights movement, Ken Jones was there.  Ken worked on the committee for the new gay pride parade in San Francisco.  He was there when that brand new rainbow flag was first unfurled by Gilbert Baker.  He was a leader in the fight against HIV/AIDS and for LGBTQ+ rights and equality.  I had the great joy of knowing Ken and can honestly say his excitement and enthusiasm was contagious.

Besides his activism, Ken Jones was a wedding officiant and united couples not only in San Francisco, but all over the world.  He also conducted tours and brought San Francisco's LGBTQ+ history alive in his walks through the Castro District.  There were so many delightful historical tidbits you heard directly from someone who had actually been there and been involved.

In September 2020, Jones was diagnosed with bladder cancer, from which he died early the next year.  He was 70 years old when he died.  Many years earlier he had been prepared to die when he was first diagnosed with HIV.  Thankfully he lived many more years and truly made a difference.

There are times when I wish I could spend more time here on the posts I write.  There is so much more I could say about Ken Jones.  I'm glad I got to know him.

Inspiration From Kenneth

When I first wrote here about Kenneth Felts, I said "he is proof that it is never too late." At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay!

After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man. Nobody knew his secret. All that changed though in 2020. He told his daughter, who is also gay, and then he told the world.

Since then, Ken met a man and fell in love. They have married and are very happy together. July 8th will be their third wedding anniversary.

Ken has also written a book, My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90, which tells the story of his life and of his coming out. He seems to be pretty active too. I'm told he baked a delicious homemade sweet potato pie last week.

Coming out certainly agrees with him. Look at the smile on his face. Ken says he hopes his story will give others the courage to embrace their sexual orientation as well. I'm personally grateful to have him in my life. What an inspiration!

 

Never give up

I've written here a lot about Harvey Bernard Milk.  Probably more than any other person. People need to know who this man was and what he did. His early years were on Long Island, and even after a stint in the Navy, Harvey returned to Long Island to teach. We remember him more though for the short time he spent in San Francisco, and for the encouraging words he spoke, and for his tragic death.  

His famous "Hope speech" is so often quoted, but there was much more encouragement than that. In a taped message that wasn't heard until after his assassination, he urged gay people to come out. "I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they'll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects ... I hope that every professional gay will say 'enough', come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help."  That is part of what LGBTQ+ Pride Month is about.

Harvey's political career was short, and he didn't accomplish many of the things he might have, but he became a symbol - an icon. He gave us hope, and he continues to, 46 years after his death.

Once, in an interview with The San Francisco Chronicle, Harvey said "If I turned around every time somebody called me a faggot, I'd be walking backward - and I don't want to walk backward."

Harvey Milk led us forward. I recall those days in San Francisco, and the energy and the enthusiasm still exists. There may be difficult moments, and our country may regret some political decisions, but we must continue to move forward and never give up. Recalling a portion of Harvey's most famous speech, "The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up." 

This month, take a moment and remember Harvey, and never give up!

It's Mikey Bustos Day

One of my favorite members of our LGBTQ+ community is Canadian Mikey Bustos. (His full name is actually Michael John Yadan Tumanguil Pestano Tilapia Bustos III, but I'll just call him Mikey).

For many years I have enjoyed the humor that Mikey shares in his videos and also his great musical abilities. You will find he is a nature lover too and that includes ants. Mikey operates the YouTube channel AntsCanada, which specializes in ant-keeping.

It was back in 2019 that Mikey came out as bisexual and also told us that he is romantically involved with his manager RJ Garcia. The two of them share a lot of their lives via social media, including a wonderful house and farm they built in the Philippines. Listen to him sing the song 'Parachute' to get a better sense of their relationship.

I have written about Mikey for the past several years during Pride month, not only because he is openly bisexual, but also because today is his birthday. Happy birthday Mikey and thanks for continuing to share so much joy!

Oh my!

We knew him first as Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, but we have come to know him as so much more. George Takei is also a very outspoken activist who is paving the way for LGBTQ+ generations yet to come. When I watched him on the bridge during those Star Trek episodes, I had no idea George was a gay man, but now the whole world knows and is proud.

Most people might know him largely from his voice work and his acting, including a classic Twilight Zone episode, an old Perry Mason, and his legacy project, the more recent musical Allegiance.  I really like his activism though and all the things he is accomplishing now as an openly gay married man.  With husband Brad by his side, he really is going where no man has gone before.

Now about that whole "oh my!" thing. I love that he says it, but so do I and I've been saying it since I was in high school. No, I didn't copy George Takei. I'd never heard of him back when I first said it.

I remember the first time I met him. Kind, polite, and warm. I don't easily say that about many celebrities. It was at an LGBTQ event, and we didn't have time for much conversation, but I've seen a lot of him in public, including his famous facebook posts, and I can easily say he is making a positive difference.  He seemed like the perfect person to end the month with.

Happy Pride!

Introducing Felicia Flames

Today I want to tell you about Felicia Alvarado Elizondo, known too as Felicia Flames, a transgender Latina who made a difference in this world every single day. Felicia was a US Navy Viet Nam Veteran, and LGBTQ+ activist, and a living history book.  She was involved in the 1966 Gene Compton's Cafeteria Riot and could give you details of that and so much more local LGBTQ+ history.  In the interest of full disclosure, I need to add one more thing, Felicia was my friend and since her passing in 2021, I miss her.

 

Some of you who read this might have known Felicia or at least known of her. She did things that make a difference for her entire life. Felicia was a performer, and you may have enjoyed one of her performances. Perhaps you were at a march or rally that she organized. Another of the things she did that really inspires me, is she made AIDS Quilt panels. she worked to get the 100 block of Turk Street renamed to Vicki Mar Lane in honor of her late friend, drag performer Vicki Marlane, and a few years later she worked to rename the 100 block of Taylor Street to Gene Compton's Cafeteria Way.

If she was still with us, I know she would be up front at the TransMarch later this month. I wish you could have known her. I have so many good memories. They weren't all grand newsworthy moments. We used to go to the Olive Garden for a simple meal and conversation. Felicia served as the lifetime achievement grand marshal in the 2015 San Francisco Pride Parade, a well deserved honor.

The man who gave us the rainbow flag

He would have turned 75 this month. A lot of you don't know his name, but you know one of his creations - the rainbow flag. His name was Gilbert Baker and although he is best known for that famous LGBTQ+ symbol, Gilbert did so much more.

After a stint in the Army, Gilbert worked on the first marijuana legalization initiative in California and learned to sew so he could create banners for protest marches. He was for a time a member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. He also served on the Board of Directors of San Francisco Pride where I had the great pleasure of working with him.

Baker first created the Rainbow Flag in 1978. In 1984, he also designed flags for the Democratic National Convention. Sometimes I'm bad with dates, but I remember when we marched to Castro and Market in San Francisco and raised a giant rainbow flag on the newly installed flagpole. A rainbow flag has flown there ever since.

In 1994, Baker moved to New York City and lived there for the rest of his life. In 2003, to commemorate the Rainbow Flag's 25th anniversary, Gilbert made a Rainbow Flag that stretched from the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean in Key West. Oh my! Last year the minor planet 429733 Gilbertbaker was named in his honor.

As you look at all of the beautiful rainbow flags flying this month, or any time, take a moment and think of Gilbert Baker. I am so glad he came our way.

Barney Frank

Barney Frank, the first member of Congress to voluntarily come out as gay, died last month, but he leaves behind quite a legacy. At his memorial, Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey said "we’re proud to be the state that sent him to Congress 16 times. There’s never been anyone quite like him. I don’t know that we’ll see anyone quite like him again. Brilliant, fearless, hilarious. He could destroy a weak argument or musing with a single line and leave you laughing."

Back in July 2012 Frank married his long-time partner, James Ready, and became the first member of Congress to marry someone of the same sex while in office.

The Washington Post referred to Frank as a "gay rights hero" and The New York Times called him a "gay pioneer." NBC News pointed out that Frank was a "champion" of Wall Street reform and at the same time was a "trailblazer" in the LGBTQ community. Stuart Weisberg's 2009 biography Barney Frank: The Story of America's Only Left-Handed, Gay, Jewish Congressman is a good source for more about Frank's life.

In many ways, Barney Frank helped change the course of American history, especially for the LGBTQ+ community.

We need to know our history

I have been writing this month about LGBTQ+ celebrations and reasons why they are necessary.  I'm also writing a little about some of the people who have made a difference.  Hearing a story recently about someone who wasn't quite sure who Marsha P. Johnson was, I knew I needed to head in that direction.  We need to know our history,

Marsha P. Johnson was an activist in New York City from the 1960s to the 1990s. Co-founder of the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, Marsha was also a visible presence at protests and marches and at the same time was a mother figure to young trans women. Facing ridicule, bullying, and harassment, Marsha did not yield from being her true self, and in doing so made a huge difference. (The middle initial P, according to her was Pay it No Mind).

Many of us are aware of those who make a difference in the town where we live, but folks in other places do things that lead to a better life for us all.  Whether you are from New Jersey where Marsha was born, New York where she became known, or the other side of the earth, it's important to know that things she did, made a difference.   

Although the police report her death as suicide, there is much evidence to suggest that her death was as a result of a hate crime.  As part of her legacy, we should all pledge to do everything possible to end the plague of hate crimes against our trans sisters and brothers.

A Few Words From Randy Shilts

A few words from Randy Shilts, which he wrote back in 1982.  AIDS was called GRID then.  We didn't know much about it.  Randy's words were important to me.  Randy was the first person I met when I moved to San Francisco.  Later he would be one of the first people I knew who died from AIDS.  

Randy was just one of hundreds, perhaps thousands, that I knew who died from AIDS, and sadly there will probably be more, even with all of the advances.  For years I have walked in AIDS Walk San Francisco and Randy is one of the reasons why.  Read Randy's words below.  

A 45-year-old San Francisco man looked at the purple spots covering his arms, face and chest and contemplated the death sentence they might foreshadow.
  
"Every time I see a new spot, I think I'm a step closer to death," said Jerry, a former waiter. "I don't even look in the mirror any more."
  
Jerry is a victim of one of a series of baffling diseases hitting primarily gay men with increasing frequency across the country.
  
Scientists have lumped the various illnesses together under the acronym of GRID -- for gay-related immuno-deficiency diseases -- and public health officials have come to view them as the most startling health problem to hit the United States since the first outbreak of Legionnaire's disease in 1976.
  
The numbers of gay men struck by the GRID disease passed epidemic proportions long ago and are now frightening public health officials for a number of reasons.
  
-- In the 11 months since the first American case of a rare skin cancer known as Kaposi's sarcoma was reported to federal authorities, the cancer and the other GRID illnesses have reportedly struck 335 Americans, almost all of them gay, killing 136 -- a higher death toll than both toxic shock syndrome and Legionnaire's disease combined.
  
-- The diseases, most of which were previously unheard of among healthy young men, offer few hopes for survival. Only 15 percent of the men diagnosed in 1979 for Kaposi's sarcoma, now colloquially known as "gay cancer," are alive now, say federal officials. Two-thirds of the reported 1980 victims have died.
  
-- The overall death rate for patients with Pneumocystis pneumonia, the "gay pneumonia," which is the deadliest GRID, now stands at 50 percent.

 -- Public health officials are also discovering that a laundry list of other strange diseases are striking gay men, apparently associated with a dysfunction of the patient's immune systems. These "opportunistic" diseases now account for one-sixth of GRID victims.

I was honored to know this man and am grateful for all he did for HIV/AIDS and for the LGBTQ+ community.  I am sad that he died so young.

Rainbow Reading

I've already written here about music, film, and television, so today I decided to take a look at LGBTQ+ related books. 

Now a list, like I did for music and film, would be much more difficult when looking at books. Should I only include non-fiction? Should the author be part of the LGBTQ+ community? Should picture books be included? Does the publication date matter? Should it be a life-changing sort of book? Rather than worry about any of those things, I'm just going to throw out a few ideas.

If I were doing a "list" it might include Undoing Gender by Judith Butler, Queer: A Graphic History by Dr. Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele, Our Lady of the Flowers by Jean Genet, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson, and Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman. I might be tempted to list Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, Wrong by Dennis Cooper, Reflections of a Rock Lobster: A Story about Growing Up Gay by Aaron Fricke, or even The Color Purple by Alice Walker.  I'm not doing a list though. It would really be too hard.

LGBTQ+ books aimed at children? There are several very good ones.  Grandad's Camper by British author Harry Woodgate, a picture book about a girl who helps her grandfather with his grief, is fantastic. Her same-sex grandfathers Gramps and Grandad toured all over in their camper, but Gramps has died and now Granddad isn't traveling anymore. Their amazing granddaughter comes to the rescue.  It's a very heartwarming story.

What about you? Are there some LGBTQ+ themed books that you are planning to read in the near future? Do you have some all-time favorites?

That Certain Summer

Gay characters on tv?  Of course!  In 2026 we are seeing more gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender characters in main roles on television than ever before.  I especially like how characters have been portrayed on shows like Major Crimes, Tommy, Modern Family, Star Trek: Picard, 9-1-1: Lone Star, and Council of Dads.  It hasn't always been that way though.  Over the years, there have been gay characters, but usually they were made fun of and treated with all the stereotypes.

Way back in 1959, a gay tv drama South was broadcast on the ITV anthology Play of the Week.  I'm not certain, but I think it was the first. In 1961 San Francisco public tv station KQED presented the first documentary on homosexuality to be seen on American television, The Rejected.  The last I checked; you could watch in on YouTube.  When That Certain Summer aired on ABC Television in 1972, it was the first television screenplay to sensitively explore homosexuality through the story of an American family split by divorce.  Although just a tv movie with a single airing, That Certain Summer was groundbreaking. 

Hal Holbrook and Martin Sheen play the gay couple in That Certain Summer with Scott Jacoby as the 14-year-old son of Holbrook's character. The dad had divorced several years earlier, and the boy does not know that his father is gay and in a committed relationship with his new life partner.  No suggestions of physical intimacy back then.  It's just a simple love story.

Do you have any favorite LGBTQ+ characters from tv land?  Is there a show with a LGBTQ+ theme that you particularly like?  Television has really come a long way since That Certain Summer, but has it come far enough?  Is there proper LGBTQ+ representation?  What do YOU think?

It's all about the movies

Last Monday I wrote about the music.  Today, the movies.  Who doesn't like a good film?  The number of motion pictures with an LGBTQ+ theme is not terribly extensive, although it certainly has improved.  All too often, if there was a gay man he was a stereotype.  

Many of you have favorite films, and I even have a list of ones that I really enjoy.  This doesn't even include the many marvelous shorts that are LGBTQ+ themed.  Anyway, I've done this before here, but this Pride Month, I thought I would do it once again.  

So, here's my list: 20-Carol (2015), 19-Boys Don’t Cry (1999), 18-The Crying Game (1992), 17-The Queen (1968), 16-The Times of Harvey Milk (1984), 15-Transamerica (2006), 14-13-Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997), 13-Longtime Companion (1990), 12-The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994), 11-Milk (2008), 10-The Boys in the Band (1970), 9-The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), 8-Love, Simon (2018), 7-Aimée und Jaguar (1999), 6-My Own Private Idaho (1991), 5-The Birdcage (1996), 4-Call Me by Your Name (2018), 3-Brokeback Mountain (2005), 2-The Wedding Banquet (1993), and 1-Torch Song Trilogy (1988).

Now, I'll bet many of you have lists of your own.  Do feel free to share them here.  I'd love to know about the movies I might have missed.

pride in baseball

Back In 1994, the San Francisco Giants became the first professional sports team to support and recognize HIV/AIDS by partnering with the Until There's A Cure Foundation and hosting a special game. They continue to do this year after year, and I have been so proud of the Giants organization for this. That was one of the first known LGBTQ-supportive nights in professional baseball, but it was a number of years later that the first Pride game took place.

The Los Angeles Dodgers were actually the first baseball team to host a Pride game and since then it has spread throughout Major League Baseball, with one exception. The Texas Rangers remain the lone team out of the 30 MLB franchises to not hold a Pride Game.

I mention this today though with disgust. I had intended to say wonderful things about The San Francisco Giants this morning and how I have always been proud of their support of their LGBTQ+ fans. As you may have already heard, there were some issues last night. The Giants hosted this year's Pride Night at Oracle Park yesterday, and four of their five pitchers chose to add biblical verses to their rainbow Pride hats or not wear one at all.

For me, it isn't just the Bible verses, but also the comments that were made by the players. The lack of action so far by the team management and by Major League Baseball also bothers me. This was a good wholesome baseball game. They were not turning Oracle Park into a huge sex orgy. There should have been nothing to object to. What we got last night was yet another reason why Pride is important.

Remembering

On June 12, 2016, a 29-year-old assailant shot and killed 49 people and wounded 58 others in a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. The club was hosting a "Latin Night," and most of the victims were of Latino descent. Orlando Police officers fatally shot the assailant after a three-hour standoff.

June 12 is set aside each year for Pulse Remembrance. Although June is set aside as Pride Month, which to many is reason for celebration, let us also never forget our tragedies. the lives lost were mostly from the LGBT+ Community. These are the names of the dead:

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Antonio D. Brown, 30

Darryl R. Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Juan Chavez-Martinez, 25

Luis D. Conde, 39

Cory J. Connell, 21

Tevin E. Crosby, 25

Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Deonka D. Drayton, 32

Mercedez M. Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22

Juan R. Guerrero, 22

Paul T. Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel A. Honorato, 30

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason B. Josaphat, 19

Eddie J. Justice, 30

Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25

Christopher A. Leinonen, 32

Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49

Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Kimberly Morris, 37

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane E. Tomlinson, 33

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald A. Wright, 31

May we never forget these lives cut short. May they rest in peace, and may the world become a place where hate no longer exists.

Time For Change

Since I began writing this in 2008, there have been some improvements in our world. Things are much better for our LGBTQ+ community. Marriage equality in the United States has been a huge step forward.

California voters approve Proposition 8, making same-sex marriage in California illegal, but then Chief Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional. The next year, President Obama said his administration would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, which banned the recognition of same-sex marriage. Then in 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states.

In 2009, The Matthew Shepard Act expanded the 1969 U.S. Federal Hate Crime Law to include crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. (Matthew was tortured and murdered near Laramie, Wyoming back in 1998 because of his sexual orientation).

In the past ten years, a number of countries have decriminalized homosexuality, including Belize, India, Angola, and Singapore. Several countries now legally recognize non-binary or third gender classifications. Blood donation policies for men who have sex with men have changed. These are just a few steps forward that have been made.

Sadly, there have also been changes in the other direction. There is still hate, even within progressive communities. There are also countries where being gay is punishable by death. Pride month is a good time to reflect on the advances, but it is also a reminder that there is still work to do. It is time for a lot more change!

We Do

When I first began writing this blog, same-sex couples could only marry in five countries and one US state (Massachusetts).  The Netherlands had been the first country in 2001 and parts of Canada followed in the next years, finally making it nationwide in 2005.  Although California had tried several times, obstacles kept coming up. 

In 2004, the Mayor of San Francisco ordered marriage licenses be issued to same-sex couples whenever they applied.  The state Supreme Court issued a stay, but before the court stepped in, 4,037 same-sex couples were issued marriage licenses in San Francisco County.  During the same period, 103 were issued to opposite-sex couples.  Clearly there was an interest.

Over the years, I wrote here about marriage equality, and I showed progress and laws changed in other countries and here in the United States. The fifty states each have separate laws regarding marriage, but all must adhere to rulings by the United States Supreme Court that recognize marriage as a fundamental right. It was a long road, state by state, but now same-sex marriage is legal in all fifty states.  It was ten years ago on this date that the high court made it so.

The month of June has always been a popular month for wedding ceremonies, but it has grown even more popular with many lesbian and gay couples choosing June because it is LGBTQ+ Pride Month.  

Sadly, there are still many places where there is not marriage equality.  There is still a lot of work to be done.

Preference?

Do you like each of these ice-cream flavors equally?  Most, I suspect, will enjoy the one in the center back more and any other, while for me it's the one in the center front: strawberry.  Yum!  Why am I talking about ice-cream though?  Well, it's to say the same thing I have said many times here (even using ice-cream once before to help explain).  Being gay or bisexual is NOT a matter of preference.  This being LGBTQ+ Pride Month, I thought I would take a moment and explain this all again.

I would suspect that while you might enjoy chocolate more, an occasional vanilla or strawberry, or even a nice mint ice-cream would still make you smile.  Now, for those of you who are gay and reading this, do you find yourself frequently attracted to the opposite gender?  Do you act on that attraction?  Well, if the answer is yes, then you likely aren't really gay.  Our sexual orientation is a bit more complicated than a casual "shall I be with a man today, or with a woman?"

We all have to realize that being gay is not a lifestyle choice and it isn't a preference.  Please help me spread the word!

It's all about the music

It's been said that gay people only like to party and have sex. WRONG!  The LGBTQ+ community is as varied as any group, and generalities are certainly not going to work here, but for many there was a time when the music and the clubs were terribly important.  As equality slowly becomes the norm, the party atmosphere isn't as important.

There was certainly a time when you had to hide if you were gay.  (In some places sadly, that is still true).  Going to gay bars and clubs was a release, a way to unwind.  It was also where you could meet other LGBTQ+ people.  This was important since you certainly couldn't be that open in school or at work.  Just as the clubs were important for socializing, so was the music. 

In keeping with Pride month, I put together a top 25 list of lgbtq anthems -- 25: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Abba, 24: Same Love - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, 23: Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland, 22: Ice Cream Truck - Cazwell, 21: Believe - Cher, 20: The Night I Fell in Love - Pet Shop Boys, 19: If I Had You - Adam Lambert, 18: Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston, 17: You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester, 16: True Trans Soul Rebel - Against Me, 15: Tainted Love - Imelda May, 14: Born this Way - Lady Gaga, 13: No More Tears - Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, 12: Express Yourself - Madonna, 11: True Colors - Cindi Lauper, 10: Take Me Or Leave Me - Rent, 9: It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls, 8: Constant Craving - kd lang, 7: YMCA - The Village People, and a favorite of mine 6: Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other - Willie Nelson.  The top five -- 5: Your Song - Elton John, 4: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor, 3: I Am What I Am - John Barrowman, 2: Raise Your Glass - Pink, and 1: I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross.

Now while you spend your day humming these tunes, remember that it really isn't all about the music.  There are important matters in life, and those same things are true for the LGBTQ+ community, but these songs (and so many others) were an outlet in days when the closet was a necessity for so many.  Right now in 2026, do you have a favorite LGBTQ+ anthem?

on social media

There are a lot more stories to tell this Pride Month, but this morning I want to say something about social media and the vast amount of negativity I have seen lately. To be fair, I'll note the many positive messages too but is the hate and negativity that really concerns me.

I have seen comments on Facebook, X, and Instagram that say the most vile and disgusting things. In 2026 America, I don't understand the hate.

If you haven't seen what I am talking about, here are a few examples:  It is totally unrelated to love and merely related to perversity * We reject this propaganda program * It's that time of the year again, It's protect your kids'month * Shove your type of "pride month" up your old haggard ass * I hate anything that has to do with LGBTQ and anything that concerns it.  Many are much more disgusting. If you ever wonder if Pride is necessary, simply go read the comment section of any news story or post about a pride parade or festival.

It's nice to go on social media and see the celebrations.  There are many encouraging posts, but the hate is so intense that sometimes you just don't want to look.  It isn't new of course, but the fact that it has been around for so long doesn't make it any easier.  When will it end?

Is there a way to spread love and happiness?  That is part of what Pride is all about.  When people ask why we need Pride, this is the answer.  

The other Harvey

Last night Harvey Made me very happy (and not for the first time). You may assume I'm talking about Harvey Milk, we celebrated his birthday last month and his name is often in the news during LGBTQ+ Pride Month.  This time though it's Harvey Fierstein that I write about.  Today is his birthday.

You might remember him from a classic episode of Cheers, or from his roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, Garbo Talks, or The Year Without a Santa Claus, but for me he will always be Arnold Beckoff from Torch Song Trilogy and Edna Turnblad in Hairspray.

Fierstein is much more than a fine actor though. He is also a wonderful voice actor, occasional columnist, and a playwright, and was one of the first openly gay celebrities in the country and put a face on the LGBTIQ+ community.

His Torch Song Trilogy gives a portrait of gay life, for those who don't really have a clue. He brought the performance to both the stage and to film and wasn't afraid to show two men in a loving committed relationship. The movie version of Torch Song is one of my all-time favorites!

By being visible, even if it might have held back his career, Harvey Fierstein has made a difference. He continues to bring us joy and pride too with every single performance. Already the recipient of four Tony Awards, last year Harvey was awarded the Special Tony Award for Lifetime Achievement.  Happy birthday Harvey and thanks for making a difference!

45 years of AIDS

Today is the 45th anniversary of the first published cases of what would later be known as acquired immunodeficiency syndrome or AIDS. It is also HIV Long-Term Survivors Awareness Day. Remember the names of all those we have lost, especially in the earliest days, and remember too all those living with HIV, as we continue the work to get to zero new HIV infections.

In addition to working for a cure, it's sad that we also have to keep fighting the stigma.  In the many years I have been writing this blog, I have devoted more space here to HIV/AIDS, and I am still amazed that so many still don't understand or in some cases, don't even care. HIV is not a gay disease. It's not a punishment for having done wrongs. It can be transmitted by homosexual AND heterosexual practices, and although it is primarily a sexually transmitted disease, there are other means of transmission.

Back in the early days of AIDS in the early '80s, HIV/AIDS was considered a death sentence. I can't tell you how many people I said goodbye to. I remember reporting on the lack of concern on the part of our leaders and even within the health community. Activists led the way, as so often is the case. Activist made a difference and continue to do so. I remember my first AIDS Walk 38 years ago and I am amazed at how that annual event has grown and has spread across the country.  

I can remember the candlelight marches and the beginning of The Quilt.  I remember the celebrity deaths including Dack Rambo, Freddie Mercury, Robert Reed, and Liberace.  I can recall the first days of the Asian AIDS Project, which later became API Wellness and now is San Francisco Community Health.  I can remember fundraisers big and small and so many caring loving people who got involved.  I can remember so many heroes including Donald Francis, Elizabeth Glaser, Brownie Mary, Nurse Alison Moed, and Keith Haring.  Along the way I remember so many that we lost - so many lives cut short.

Now in 2026 I have no intention of giving up.  I'll keep fundraising and speaking up and talking until I drive some folks crazy.  I will also keep caring, because we have to care when we speak of human lives.  On this 44th anniversary though, I will mostly be remembering and trying to recall each person I said goodbye to.  Today I will think back.  Today I am grateful for the progress, but I don't want us to keep having anniversaries.  

Can I interest you in a donut?

The Stonewall Riots in Greenwich Village in New York City is the primary reason why we celebrate Pride during June.  Most of us know about The Stonewall Inn and the history behind it, but can I interest you in a donut?  What many claim was the first LGBTQ+ uprising in the United States occurred ten years before Stonewall at Cooper Donuts in Los Angeles.

How about the Dewey’s Lunch Counter sit-in back in Philadelphia in 1965? That too was before Stonewall. The Compton's Cafeteria Riot occurred the following year in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco.  Again, before Stonewall, yet that is the one most folks know about.  There have been other incidents where the LGBTQ+ community stood up and fought back - some famous and some not as well known.

The parades and marches and celebrations during Pride Month every year (and in some places at other times) remember our history and bring us together to see that we continue down the path of equality, fairness, and justice.  

Of course, there is a rich and important history connected to LGBTQ+ Pride Month, and I'll continue telling you about it here.  Do feel free to share some information about your neck-of-the-woods in the comments section below!  If there isn't a big parade in your community, let's at least eat a donut in remembrance of the LA uprising at Cooper Donuts, and share our hopes for the future.

all kinds of heroes

The Pride Celebrations of the LGBTQ+ communities all around the world are happy and joyous, in part - but they are also rallies for justice and continuations of the fight for equality.  Along the way there have been many heroes.  

In this blog, I write about making a difference, and while there have been numerous leaders over the years, a number of whom I will write about here, not all of the lgbtq heroes identify as LGBTQ+.  There are numerous non-gay allies who have made an incredible difference.

These days we know more and more names because folks are less fearful of the gay, bisexual, or transgender label.  Many celebrities are coming out, and that in itself makes a difference, with more visibility.  More people are coming out to family and friends too.  Think for a moment.  How many people do you know who are part of the LGBTQ+ community?

The heroes?  Well, there are certainly too many to write about in just one short blog post, but they include Cleve Jones, Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin, Harvey Milk, Brooklyn Owen, Gavin Newsom, Cecilia Chung, Ken Jones, Dustin Lance Black, Barbara Gittings, Neil Giuliano, Gilbert Baker, and Vic Basile. Also Troy Perry, Bayard Rustin, Adam Bouska, José Sarria, Chaz Bono, Felicia Elizondo, Blake Brockington, Ryan Cassata, Dan Savage, and Tamara Ching.  The list can go on and on, and hopefully more and more folks will come forward and fight for what is right - equality for all.  

As I said yesterday, please do feel free to share your LGBTQ+ Pride stories here.  What is the most moving experience you have ever had.  Who are your heroes in 2026? 

Great Unfinished Story

"We cannot achieve true tolerance merely through legislation; we must change hearts and minds as well. Our greatest hope for a just society is to teach our children to respect one another, to appreciate our differences, and to recognize the fundamental values that we hold in common." Those words came from President Bill Clinton in a proclamation back in 1999.

Pride events had already been taking place, but on the 30th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, President Clinton became the first to declare a Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. In 2009 President Barack Obama declared June as "LGBT Pride Month," acknowledging a wider spectrum of identities. The following year President Obama Pride Month in the context of the "great, unfinished story" of equality for all Americans.  How wonderful it would be if every single president would make a proclamation!

Pride Month is important because this is indeed an unfinished story.  We can celebrate who we are, and we can celebrate the advances and improvements, but we must also keep working for equality and for an end to hate.  Although this blog is NOT about me, I know important Pride is having been involved with Pride events since the beginning, and so will continue writing about related subjects all month long. 

The joy I have seen at the simplest of moments has been so very encouraging.  I've seen discouragement and sadness too.  I will write about some of that, but this great unfinished story includes so much that hasn't happened yet and so many other stories that simply have not been told.  Do please feel free to share your own thoughts below.  Happy Pride!

Pride Month is here

Pride Month began in June 1970, one year after the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969, when police raided the Stonewall Inn in New York City and patrons fought back, sparking days of protests. The first Pride marches followed in cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York.

Although the official commemoration is all month long, there are also some special dates to remember:  June 1 is LGBTQ Families Day. June 12 is set aside for Pulse Remembrance. June 15 is the anniversary of the US Supreme Court Bostock decision (prohibiting employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity). June 26 is the anniversary of the US Supreme Court marriage equality ruling. June 27 is National HIV Testing Day. June 28 is Stonewall Day. There are also special days set aside in cities all over for marches, celebrations, and parades.

I can write about a lot of folks who are making a difference.  People like Alex Randolph, Mark Rhoades, Morey Riordan, Donna Sachet, Tim Seelig, Devlin Shand, Jake Stensberg, BeBe Sweetbriar, Susan Stryker, Lance Bass, Tom LeNoble, Marsha Levine, John Lewis, Janice Li, Madeleine Lim, Evan Low, Rachel Maddow, Honey Mahogany, Rafael Mandelman, Kippy Marks, Liam Mayclem, Gary McCoy, Michelle Meow, Paul Miller, Jeff Myers, Juanita MORE!, Michael Nguyen, Donna Personna, Nguyen Pham, Hank Plante, Jen Chan, Cecilia Chung, Lenore Chinn, Tim Cook, Dominique Crenn, Juan Davila, Roger Doughty, D’Arcy Drollinger, Bevan Dufty, Angel Fabian, Suzanne Ford, Stuart Gaffney, Moisés Garcia, Bob Goldfarb, Marga Gomez, Jewelle Gomez, Robert Holgate, Judy Young, Mark Abramson, Rebecca Prozan, Gary Virginia, Scott Wiener, Lisa Williams, Manny Yekutiel, Sara Yergovich, Marcy Adelman, Tita Aida, Andrea Aiello, Tom Ammiano, Sophia Andary, Billie Joe Armstrong, Crystal Jang, Cleve Jones, Rebecca Kaplan, Dan Choi, Brian Boitano, Aaron Boot-Haury, Nate Bourg, Kate Brown, Hossein Carney, Patrick Carney, Leslie Katz, Kate Kendell, David Landis, Mark Leno, and so many others. I could also write about so many who have come before.

In 2026 it is more important than ever. I keep seeing hateful messages on social media and there have been many efforts to roll back laws that protect freedoms and rights.  Don't let hate win.  Remember.  Fight.  Celebrate.  Always have hope.  More LGBTQ+ stories here in the days ahead.

more and more new ideas

Every single morning, I sit down to write something here about how we all can make a difference in this world of ours and after all these years, you might think I would run out of ideas.  Not so!  It seems there are more and more ideas every single day and I thank you for sharing some of them with me.  I'd always like to hear more too, so if you think of something I don't mention, please feel free to email me or write a comment below.

 

Just when you move past one really great idea, you see several other doors with all kinds of new possibilities.  Lately I have been seeing ideas everywhere!  In addition to this blog, I also write a few words every day about kindness.  I hope I will always have more and more new ideas in that regard.  We should never run out of new ways to be kind.
 

Some of the most inspiring things in life just come to us out of the blue.  You might be reading this blog or shopping for groceries or taking the kids off to school and suddenly an idea hits you.  If those are ideas that will benefit others, share them.  Who knows?  Your next idea might really change the world!

Twenty dollar bill story

A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200 people, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple up the currency and then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth twenty dollars. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

I've told you about this speaker and the story of the twenty dollar bill here before.  It didn't originate with me.  It is one of those that has floated around and I am simply retelling it here. (I do that sort of thing from time-to-time). But it speaks to a number of things. Mostly it says count your blessings, not your problems.

Joy Joy Joy

There used to be a song that was often sung around the campfire at church camps and other places with a line that went "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy - Down in my heart - Down in my heart to stay."  I don't know how I got that in my head.  I must have joy in my heart!

What brings you joy?  I've asked that question here before but think about it for a moment once again.  There are tons of answers to the question.  There really isn't a wrong answer.  What brings you joy might not bring me joy.  Does some of your own joy come in the giving too?  So how can a feeling of great pleasure and happiness be felt by those around you?  What can you do to share the joy?  Do you every purposely try to fill others with joy and happiness?

For me joy is pretty awesome but like with this blog, it's NOT about me and it's not just about my joy alone.  I really am most joyful when I am surrounded by other joyful people.  Seems pretty obvious what we need to do then.  We need to spread the joy, especially during these difficult times!

Be the reason someone smiles

Have you ever walked down the street early in the morning and had someone smile and say hello to you? It actually used to be quite common. It still happens here and there, but mostly in smaller communities. I don't know about you, but that kind of friendliness can really make my day. Their smile becomes my smile!

Of course there are many reasons to be happy. The barista who serves my coffee, remembering exactly how I like it from my previous visits, and who hands it to me with a smile. His smile becomes my smile! The same thing happens when I am crossing the street and a driver waits to let me go ahead with a wave and a smile. (I think you know where this is going). Her smile becomes my smile! That's how it goes throughout the day. Someone has a smile, and now I do too.

Being nice is always a good thing. Sharing the joys of life not only makes others happy, but can help to keep you happy. It's like a circle. Happy people don't have to put a lot of effort into it. It just comes naturally. Some of us have to think about it a little more. Whatever the case though, be happy, and share it. Be the reason someone smiles today!

Did you ever know that you're my hero

Remember when Bette Midler sang "Did you ever know that you're my hero"?  The song is Wind Beneath My Wings and numerous other artists recorded it, but the point I want to make is regarding its lyrics.  I think it is talking about a friend or relative, someone who is special and whom she considers her hero and her idol. There is nothing wrong with a little hero worship and I think everyone should have someone like she does!

 

A few months before my mother died, I was helping her set up a new telephone lifeline system and, as a backup password, they wanted to know the name of her hero.  Without hesitation Mom said "Dad," meaning her father.  How wonderful that long after he had died, my mother still looked at her father as her hero.

 

I write here often of people we might consider heroes.  Some are well known, and some are folks that would only be known within their community.  What is it that make them a hero though and has anyone ever encouraged them to continue that behavior?  One of the things I like about that Bette Midler song is that it seems to be addressed directly to her hero.  How wonderful!  Let that person know what you think of them.  Oh they my blush and even say "aw shucks!" but acknowledging good behavior only encourages more of it, and that certainly can't be a bad thing!

Are you happy?

What makes you happy?  Are you happy because we have a new president?  Are you happy because zoom and youtube and other platforms help us to attend concerts and other events without even leaving our house?  Are there material objects that bring you happiness?  What about food or maybe music or art?  Are you happy because of the work you do or the people you associate with or because of your hobbies or because of some great past memories?  

 

What?  I'm assuming you ARE happy.  Perhaps I should have first asked if you are.  Well, what's the answer?  Are you a happy person?  Do you share that happiness with others?  (Sharing happiness can also bring you happiness).  It is wonderful to make others happy!

 

I think that happy is one of those wonderful things that is very easy to share.  If you are smiling it invites others to smile as well.  If you seem to be happy and pleasant, I'll bet you will find others picking that happiness up from you!

F NOT Fitzgerald

The other day I read a wonderful quote that had been attributed to F Scott Fitzgerald. It was one of those encouraging things that often will end up on a poster, but as I was reading it, I also learned that the words were not his. Oh my! The article actually went on to say that there are many instances these days of quotes wrongly attributed on the internet.

Now Fitzgerald was an incredible writer. There is no denying that. He died at a very young age, but had he lived longer, there is no telling how many more wonderful stories he would have told. Among his works are This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and Damned, The Great Gatsby, and Tender Is the Night. In addition, Fitzgerald penned dozens of short stories.

The quote I was speaking of though is the very kind of thing I like to share here. It likely came from a screenwriter by the name of Eric Roth. There is much evidence that it was not Fitzgerald's. Still, it's a wonderful quote:

“For what it’s worth … it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”