Hear the band

One thing I always love about parades in San Francisco is The San Francisco Pride Band, formerly the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band. founded by Jon Sims back in 1978, they were the first openly gay musical organization in the world.

For nearly ten years, Michael J. Wong has been Artistic Director for both the Marching and Pep Bands. Watch him sometime. You can see right away that he is having a good time.

Back in 2018, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to officially designate them as "the official band of the City and County of San Francisco." That's pretty impressive.

There's nothing like the sound of a marching band, as far as I'm concerned, and these performers are extra special. I was not able to be present at yesterday's San Francisco parade, but I watched he television coverage, and the moment I saw Michael marching up Market Street, I got tears in my eyes.  Thanks for always making a positive difference and Happy Pride!

Before the Parade Passes By

LGBTQ Pride Parades will be happening many places today, including San Francisco where I participated for so many years. Before the parade passes by though I want to say a few more things about LGBTQ history and all of these events.

All this month I have broken from writing about various ways we can make a difference and I have focused on the many people and events that have helped improve conditions and promote equality for our LGBTQ sisters and brothers. There are so many more stories that can be told. I'd like to invite you once again to share your own stories in the comments section below.

I world is a better place and so many good people have done good things, but we still have a long way to go. People should feel safe wherever they are and at all times, not just at celebrations one month out of the year. Together, we can make the world a better place. Let's always stand against hate.

Oh, and about those parades, there was a time when there would be little media coverage. Today many of the parades are being televised live! I will be watching the San Francisco parade because I simply HAVE TO see and hear The San Francisco Pride Band. (More on them tomorrow).

Wonderful Tita Aida

Way back in the 90s, I had the great pleasure of first working with Nikki Calma, better known to most as Tita Aida. There are so many incredible things I could write about her: her activism, her wonderful smile, the energy that never seems to run out, her willingness to give back and make a difference. Oh my!

Back when I first met her, she was her working with the Asian AIDS Project in San Francisco, which later became the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center and now known as San Francisco Community Health Center. (That organization quickly became one of my favorites, by the way).

She has taken on leadership roles at the API Pride Pavilion and Stage at San Francisco Pride and has also served on the Pride Board of Directors. She also lends her incredible talent as a performer to emcee portions of these events. The annual GAPA Runway is another place where you will find her behind the microphone.

Tita has been a leader for Trans March SF (which takes place each year during Pride Weekend) and for the Transgender Day of Remembrance. She has hosted numerous community events and fundraisers. Everything she does is with style and charm. Pretty much everyone in San Francisco is glad that Tita Aida came their way. I am especially pleased that Nikki will be honored next weekend as a special Lifetime Achievement grand marshal at the 55th San Francisco Pride Parade.

Seldom do I write here about people I actually know, but I should have written about this wonderful person long ago.  I not only know this person, but am proud to call her a friend!

Rise

This 31-year-old Canadian is one of my heroes - someone who truly makes a difference, and has touched so many lives, just in a few short years. His name is Justin Preston and he's a sought-after public Speaker, an ambassador for Kids Help Phone, and the creator of Rise Against Bullying.

A few years ago, I read that that 85% of LGBT students had reported being verbally harassed and 40% reported being physically harassed. Even worse, nearly 20% reported being physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation. Justin was one of those who was harassed. Hearing him describe it, it sounds pretty awful, but somehow, he mustered the strength to rise up and do something - not only for himself, but for everyone.

I haven't actually met Justin, but I sure would like to. He gives back and makes a difference and is a hero to so many.  Isn't that what life is all about?  As I read about his many projects, I am filled with joy that so many people have been helped because of Justin's work. He inspires me every single day, especially with his Letters By Justin where he personally writes encouraging messages.

 

You can learn more about Kids Help Phone HERE, and more about Rise Against Bullying at http://www.riseagainstbullying.ca/ (there's a facebook page too, just click HERE).  I urge you to go there and find out more about Justin and his important work.  Click HERE to make a donation too.  Help make a difference!

Randy was first

Back in the late 70s, when I lived in San Francisco, I met a television reporter named Randy Shilts.  A major magazine in a brief mention, said he was the first openly gay television news reporter.  I remember saying to him, "I've always been openly gay, so what made you the first?"  Regardless of who was actually first, Randy was covering things that nobody else was. 

After leaving the public tv station where he had been working, Randy went on to the major local newspaper, where he again paid more attention to lgbt issues, than any other reporter.  Books followed.  He gave us only three, but three important ones:  Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the US Military, And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, and The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk.

He wanted to write more.  Homosexuality in the Roman Catholic Church was to have been examined in his next book, but AIDS claimed his life at the young age of 42, before he was able to get to that.

I've written here about Randy Shilts before, and you may think it odd that I bring him up so much.  We knew each other, but never became close.  Randy made a difference though.  He brought us news we needed to hear.  He talked about HIV/AIDS when nobody else was.  Although there is some controversy, especially when he called for the closure of gay bathhouses, Randy continued to dig up the facts and report them to us.  He might not be recognized by everyone, but I am thrilled that he was one of the first to receive a plaque on San Francisco's Rainbow Honor Walk.

Thanks for the reports and for the books Randy.  Thanks for making a difference!

I'm gay

When Ellen DeGeneres publicly came out and announced that she is gay back in 1997, it was a big deal. Gay celebrities lived in the closet most of the time fearing that their careers would be hurt. Ellen even had her tv sitcom character come out. When Lance Bass came out nine years later it wasn't as big. There already were some openly gay musicians and Lance was not currently doing that much performing. As more and more people came out it became easier for the next.

Neil Patrick Harris played a non-gay role on his hit television show, so you might expect him to be the last to tell the world he is gay, but tell he did, around the same time as Lance.  Did is popularity go down?  Nope.  Not a bit.  In fact, he seems to have become more popular.

Ricky Martin, Rosie O’ Donnell, BD Wong, Jim Parsons, Cynthia Nixon, Meredith Baxter, and George Takei and just a few of the dozens who in recent years have said "I'm gay." Each time someone says it there seems to be a little less surprise and a little less controversy.  Gay people exist.  Some of them are famous.  It's really no big deal.  Back in 2020 we even saw a married gay man run for President of the United States!

Closets are really just for clothes and so more and more people are being open about who they are.  People are being honest, and the honesty is being rewarded in the form of more acceptance and more equality.  It's about time.

The Gay Gene

There was an article in the UK Daily Mail 32 years ago today back in 1993, reporting on the possibility of terminating pregnancies if the "gay gene" was discovered. The author of the piece, Jason Lewis wrote in part "Isolation of the genes means it could soon be possible to predict whether a baby will be gay and give the mother the option of abortion."

Of course that wasn't the end of it. There have been other reports. In 2019, analysis of half a million people suggested that genetics may have a limited contribution to sexual orientation. There are other factors to consider as well. Another report says that genetics are involved in sexual orientation, but that there are no specific genetic predictors.

My reason for bring this up this morning was the abortion option. No this isn't going to be a debate on a woman's right to choose. My issue is terminating a pregnancy because you don't want a gay child. If you knew you were going to bring a gay person into the world, would you want to?  (There was even talk at one time about mandatory abortions if a gay gene was found).

How far have we come since the 1993 report I mentioned?  Not far enough I'm afraid.  There are still those who would like to find a gay gene and use it to insure that there never be another gay person born,  I'm curious though about what YOU think.  Let me hear from you.

At The Movies

Seen any good movies lately?  Wait!  Have you seen any good LGBTQ-themed movies lately?  Last Friday I wrote here about the music, so today I move on to film and will share my top twenty pick for LGBTQ movies of all time.  (This is tough by the way.  There are a lot of movies out there)!

First I want to acknowledge that mainstream cinema does a much better job these days in showing our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning sisters and brothers.  When I was a kid, it was rare to see a gay character in a movie and when there was, it was always some kind of freak.  It's so nice to see this better representation and it is wonderful to see such a great collection of movies with a specific LGBTQ theme.

So, here's my list:  20-The Queen (1968), 19-The Crying Game (1992), 18-Longtime Companion (1990), 17-The Times of Harvey Milk (1984), 16-Giant Little Ones (2019), 15-The Boys in the Band (1970), 14-The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), 13-Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997), 12-Boys Don’t Cry (1999), 11-The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994), 10-Milk (2008), 9-The Birdcage (1996), 8-Transamerica (2006), 7-Love, Simon (2018), 6-My Own Private Idaho (1991), 5-Call Me by Your Name (2018), 4-Carol (2015), 3-Brokeback Mountain (2005), and 2-The Wedding Banquet (1993).

Now I know a lot of you will disagree with this list.  Please feel free to tell me what I left out and also if my order was all wrong. 

Oh and did you notice I only listed 19 films?  Well I do have a number one choice - it's an oldie but a goodie.  I actually watch it over and over.  My number one selection is Torch Song Trilogy (1988), Harvey Fierstein's splendid adaptation of his play with Matthew Broderick, Brian Kerwin, the incredible Anne Bancroft, and an appearance by the great Charles Pierce.  I LOVE this movie!

Who else

Are there other openly LGBTQ+ celebrities that we haven't mentioned?  Indeed, there are!  I'm thinking of Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, Elliot Page, Neil Patrick Harris, Robin Roberts, Dustin Lance Black, Chaz Bono, Ian McKellen, Holland Taylor, Ronen Rubinstein, Barry Manilow, Wesley Eure, and Adam Lambert to name just a few.  

There is also a long list of famous LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers who are no longer living.  So many of them weren't able to come out during their lifetime.  These days it seems to be much safer in many countries to live as your true self.  It wasn't that long ago, when you had to hide your true identity if you were part of the LGBT+ community.

When I hear Lily Tomlin talking about her wife or Lance Bass saying something about his husband, it warms my heart.  Visibility makes a difference.  

As Pride Month continues, I will write here about some other people who have publicly come out.  In addition to all of the performers, there are also the writers, athletes, politicians, activists, and others in the public eye who have come out over the years.  The list is too long to name everyone and that is a very good thing.  The more people come out, the easier it is for the next person.  Perhaps the day will come when we won't judge people by their sexual orientation or gender identity.  Perhaps.

The Smile of Ken

If you read this blog regularly, you may recall me writing about Kenneth Felts back in 2020 saying "he is proof that it is never too late." At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay! Since then, Ken met a man, Johnny Javier Hau, and fell in love. Two years ago they married, and the New York Times wrote up their story.

If you don't know the story, let me catch you up. After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man. Nobody knew his secret.  It seems his daughter is also gay, so in 2020 he came out to her, and then to the whole world.  All the details are in a book he has written My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90.  I found the book to be both interesting and very moving.

I have had the privilege of communicating with Ken and Johnny these past few years and while we have never met in person, everything I see is great joy and happiness.  Coming out can be a very good thing.  In nearly every picture I see of Ken, he is smiling.  How wonderful!  I look forward to someday meeting him in person.  I'd love to hear more of his stories.

No kings, but queens are good

Over 1,000 communities across the country today are holding events for a "No Kings Nationwide Day of Defiance." Queens are a different matter. Let me introduce you to the Absolute Empress XXV of San Francisco.  The name Garry McLain might not be familiar to you, but for so many - even folks on the other side of the world, the San Francisco establishment he ran for many years was not only familiar, but it was also a destination! 

Mclain is much better known to many as Marlena the Magnificent, who owned Marlena's bar.  Marlena’s was a neighborhood institution for twenty two years and for many regulars, it was a home away from home - a place like Cheers, "where everybody knew your name." It was also where you could play a quick afternoon game of pool or come to see one of the best drag shows anywhere. Of course the fundraisers and community events are firm in so many of our memories too. Santas. If you had been there at Christmastime, you know about the santas. 

Marlena's was such a wonderful part of San Francisco, but it was the man at the top, Marlena himself, who made this all happen.  So many know him as a drag queen or as a bar owner, but if you have spent any time in the community or if you have visited his namesake saloon, you know him as someone who gives back - someone who makes a difference in this world. He has given money- he has given time - he has given a stage for new performers - he has given a place for folks with nowhere else to go. To put it quite simply, Garry McLain has a heart of gold.

During Pride Month, I pause to thank all the wonderful drag performers in our world, past and present.  God save our queens!

The LGBTQ+ Music

The LGBTQ+ anthems on my list might not be the same as yours, but during the Pride Month, I was thinking of the songs I would list.  Here are this years's top twentyfive (according to me):

25: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Abba, 24: Same Love - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, 23: Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland, 22: Ice Cream Truck - Cazwell, 21: Believe - Cher, 20: The Night I Fell in Love - Pet Shop Boys, 19: If I Had You - Adam Lambert, 18: Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston, 17: You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester, 16: True Trans Soul Rebel - Against Me, 15: Tainted Love - Imelda May, 14: Born this Way - Lady Gaga, 13: No More Tears - Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, 12: Express Yourself - Madonna, 11: True Colors - Cindi Lauper, 10: Take Me Or Leave Me - Rent, 9: It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls, 8: Constant Craving - kd lang, 7: YMCA - The Village People, and a favorite of mine 6: Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other - Willie Nelson. The top five -- 5: Your Song - Elton John, 4: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor, 3: I Am What I Am - John Barrowman, 2: Raise Your Glass - Pink, and 1: I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross.

Does this list do the LGBTQ+ community justice?  Should it be revised? What song would you add? Are there any that just have to be dropped from this list? I tried to keep this list vast and diverse, but I don't know how I did, so feedback really would be appreciated.  Just how does a song become a gay anthem anyway?  

Nobody makes mix tapes anymore, right?  At least we have YouTube!  I think I'll cue up Gloria Gaynor singing 'I Will Survive.'

.Remembering Pulse

It was just a few years ago on June 12, 2016, that a man shot and killed 49 people and wounded another 53 people in a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, FL. Every year I write about it here in this space. In the midst of all our Pride Month celebrations, we also must not forget any of our tragedies.

I do not write about the Perpetrator, preferring instead to focus on remembering those who died. Pulse had been hosting a "Latin Night," and most of the victims were Latino. It was the deadliest incident of violence against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in the history of the United States, surpassing the 1973 UpStairs Lounge arson attack in New Orleans.

Here are the lives that were lost. Remember their names.

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Antonio D. Brown, 30

Darryl R. Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Juan Chavez-Martinez, 25

Luis D. Conde, 39

Cory J. Connell, 21

Tevin E. Crosby, 25

Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Deonka D. Drayton, 32

Mercedez M. Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22Juan R. Guerrero, 22

Paul T. Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel A. Honorato, 30

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason B. Josaphat, 19

Eddie J. Justice, 30

Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25

Christopher A. Leinonen, 32

Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49

Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Kimberly Morris, 37

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane E. Tomlinson, 33

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald A. Wright, 31

Officials have characterized the shooting as an act of terrorism, but it has not been called a hate crime. It has been argued that the shooter was not targeting the club because of gay patrons. While that may be true, the injured and the lives lost were mostly from the LGBT+ Community.  May we never forget these lives cut short.

Adam's pictures

The Pride Celebrations each June, the rainbow flag, and The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt are all things that make a visible difference.  Who doesn't recognize panels of The Quilt when you see them, or the rainbow flag?  Well, the NoH8 Campaign is another example.  Photographer Adam Bouska created this visual program along with partner Jeff Parshley, back in 2009 in response to California's Proposition 8, the ballot proposition opposing same-sex marriage.

Openly gay Bouska has really made a difference taking pictures of thousands in the past eight years.  I remember seeing a friend at work with the NoH8 on his cheek.  It made an immediate impact on me.  There is something very empowering seeing your favorite celebrities, including many non-gay people, in these poses with the duct tape and the NoH8 lettering. 

Our LGBTIQ+ community is fortunate to have so many great leaders.  There just aren't enough days in the month to mention everyone, but I encourage you to mention some others for me, using the comments section below.

If you want to keep up with Adam Bouska's NoH8 pictures, check out their website at http://www.noh8campaign.com/ - you can donate money to this great campaign through their website too.  (I love looking through all the pictures).  Adam makes a difference in many other ways as well.  I really appreciate all of his positive and encouraging tweets.  You can keep up with him at his website http://www.adambouska.com/ 

All the letters

Most people are familiar with the rainbow flag and the trans flag is fairly well known too, but what about this flag?  Do you recognize it?  This is the bisexual flag created by Michael Page to represent and increase visibility of bisexuals within the LGBTQ community and also within society as a whole.

Page says the pink represents sexual attraction to same sex only (lesbians and gay men).  The blue field represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (heterosexuals).  The overlapping purple represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bisexuals).

When Pride events first began, most of the emphasis was on gay men.  Gradually it has changed to include the entire LGBTQ+ umbrella, but some still don't get as much attention.  All of the letters are important, not just the first two.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) wrote an open letter to bisexuals back in 2019 (which you can read in full HERE).  That letter says in part "Pride can be a hard time for those who fall within the bisexual, pansexual, queer and sexually fluid community.  Studies show that bi people make up nearly 50% of the LGBTQ community, but too often it can feel like we’re all alone, walking a line between being 'too queer' or 'not queer enough.'"  During this Pride Month, remember your bisexual sisters and brothers and remember too that all groups are important. 

Walking through June

Yesterday I wrote here that LGBTQ+ Pride Month has begun.  During these thirty days we celebrate, but we also remember our past and work for a better future.  Some of that remembering we can do every day now thanks to a wonderful memorial that initially included these twenty people:

Jane Addams (1860-1935)

James Baldwin (1924-1987)

George Choy (1960-1993)

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)

Keith Haring (1958-1990)

Harry Hay (1912-2002)

Sylvester James (1947-1988)

Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989)

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)

Del Martin (1921-2008)

Yukio Mishima (1925-1970)

Bayard Rustin (1912-1987)

Randy Shilts (1951-1994)

Gertrude Stein (1874-1946)

Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Tom Waddell (1937-1987)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Tennessee Williams (1911-1983)

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

So, what do they have in common? Well, they are all part of the LGBTQ community and they were all the initial honorees of the Rainbow Honor Walk in San Francisco's Castro District. David Perry had this great idea about honoring pioneers in the LGBTQ+ community, people who laid the groundwork for LGBTQ+ rights, and to teach us all and future generations about these heroes. 

I've written about the Rainbow Honor Walk here before, and you really should check in out when in San Francisco. More information (including a list of all the honorees and their biographies) can be found on their website at http://rainbowhonorwalk.org/  

Pride Month Is Here

LGBTQ+ Pride Month begins today, and I have already seen people asking "How come there is no Straight Pride Celebration"? Really?  It's 2025 folks and the need should be obvious! 

In case you hadn't noticed, heterosexual life is pervasive and permeates just about everything in our culture.  While things may be changing, especially in big cities, the anti-gay and anti-trans climate is still very present in so many places that people have to hide their identities.  Once a year at LGBTQ Pride Celebrations all over the world, people travel from smaller communities to be in a place where they don't have to hide - where, even if only for a few days, they can be themselves. 

 

LGBTQ Pride celebrations provide a sense of community to people who have so often been isolated and outcast, even from their own families and they bring attention to political or social causes that are important to LGBT people.

 

As someone (I have forgotten who) once said "Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate not being straight but our right to exist without prosecution."  Indeed.  How many places can you think of where someone will go to jail because they are heterosexual?  Where is someone likely to lose their job for NOT being gay?  Think about it.

 

Do large cities like New York, San Francisco, London, or Toronto still need LGBTQ Pride events?  Indeed they do.  While there does seem to be more freedom and more equality in those cities than in so many places, the big cities provide a visible place of safety and a place where folks can and do come from all over.  That is also another reason to keep doing these celebrations.  They can be held up as an example to others.  Holding these celebrations also gives those in small towns and those who live in a place that lacks tolerance, a place to which they can escape.  Wherever you are this month, take some time to think about equality and being your true self.  Everyone should have that opportunity.
 

Some say there is a "straight Pride" celebration every day of the year. Ideally, we wouldn't have to use any labels. Every day could be a celebration of who we are, including people who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. We're sadly not at that day yet in most of the world.